2.21.2010

Tragedy

I've been dealing with a broken heart -- my daughter's. And a broken heart in high school is the most painful kind of devastation because lost love plays out on a stage whose audience, at best, is wired for satire.

She came to me and in her voice I heard a deep disconnection with any good thing in this world when she whispered: Oh, Mom...

That sound made me ache.



I know I'm shattering the first rule of blogging: Don't embarrass your children. But my character will remain nameless. She is Everygirl (who has ever felt in love with someone that only judged them on their externalness). I didn't experience this with my oldest daughter who fell in love with her best friend half a decade ago and is still discovering the delights of that friendship. She was a bookworm. A thinker who never jumps into anything without first mulling it over. But my Everygirl just spontaneously jumps into life.

This was her first 'real' relationship. The one that included permission to car date and a curfew much earlier than was permitted when she spent time with her girlfriends. Yes, it was my poor attempt to condition her behavior towards hanging with the BFFs more but, alas, I'm up against endorphins.

Luckily, it had not progressed anywhere near a serious relationship just young love gone wrong. When I asked exactly what that wrong was, she said he'd said she wasn't what he thought she'd be. There it was...the false expectation of another. She had even fallen prey to the knee-jerk response: What can I do? Translated: I'm willing to change. When she told me that I offered up appreciation for each and every moment of my life. And though I want her to live her own life and life experiences, I had a few of my own to share with her. With the most important being, I was learning how priceless we are 'as is'. I also knew it was possible for her to find that best friend waiting for her to fall into the delights of their friendship. So, after two nights of curling up with her and a rather large box of Kleenex, we purged him. And we blessed him. And we set our sights on prom.

But that would require a slightly older boy.

Yikes, more drama.