6.30.2012

WARNING: I AM-bling...

I'm a terrible mother that, at least, would be the King James version. So, to write (about) this horrible wrong, I will share with you my twists on a couple of old stories with this caveat; my children are free to believe however they wish to believe in their Higher Power. I prefer for them not to believe in Hell. Very difficult in our neck of the woods. I was reprimanded by my 3rd (I stand corrected from the first draft) grader one year when she came home in tears demanding to know why I had not informed her that her soul was in peril. I asked her about what time this pre-apocalyptic knowing occurred. She said, Lunch. I assured her brown bagging it would help....and there began a journey towards her truth. Again, if any of them want to believe in Hell, so be it, but they have to remember that they cannot have a happy ending to an unhappy journey and that has got a catch-22 all over it.  But I do try to give alternatives. We own a television and they are free to turn it on. Hell can often be found on Channel 4 News at 10 o' clock. 


I jest...kinda.


***

My God is Love.  It is the only God I know of now. My journey is sharing this more openly. The Big Me, that dwells inside my (I love this phrase) Chalice of Consciousness is not nearly as shy or fearful as my ego.  It wants to do so many more things than my ego fights not to.  So, when the children ask of the Battle of Good and Evil, I say they misheard the word all those years and years ago. It's the Battle of God and Ego. Even then, there is no real battle. We all know who wins in the end:

Love.

***

I love Jesus. When I was in high school, I had a lucid dream. A conversation. And he was so beautiful and real to me. Not like the pictures exactly but radiant. I don't know how to describe the warmth. Acceptance? Non judgment? Love? I had known nothing like that warmth before. And I could ask anything. So, I wanted to understand the most profound question I could think of. What about Hitler? What about all the bad stuff? 


He said: They think you can only be saved here. My love is eternal. The work is eternal. 

Then He was gone. And I felt all alone thinking that it wasn't wise to tell this dream to anyone. I held that thought until. just. now.  

***

So,  we discussed various Biblical stories. They like Noah. But they also love animals. That one just has a happy ending. For the animals, anyway. Noah being that dude that heard a calling while others turned a deaf ear. Here you've got this crazy guy building a massive boat while animals are being collected and hauled in from various places with on-lookers heckling him. 

In a nutshell: Put your faith in God even when no one's got any faith in you. 

"He showed them." 

Oh, child. It's not about revenge.  Not the God I know. 

***
But I'm writing most, now, because of the conversation about Adam and Eve and their eating from the Tree of Knowledge.  So many think of this story in terms of sexuality or of coming into divine knowing meant for only God. But Divine Knowledge is to know that where there is light there can be no darkness. Paradise is all things light. I wonder, now, if this is a story of partaking of Ego. Literally, feasting on human weakness and devouring darkness. To live in Paradise is to live from the heart. Ego is the brain's domain. 

It just makes me wonder.