11.30.2011

The Seeker

I love this excerpt from "The Seeker," a poem by Rilke in his Book of Hours (translated by Robert Bly):

"I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, / and I have been circling for a thousand years, / and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm, / or a great song."

Here's my own permutation:


"I am circling around love, around the throbbing hum, and I have been circling for thousands of days, and I still don't know if I am a wounded saint, or a rainy dawn, or a creation story." ~
Brezsny

Compose your own version:

"I am, the circle, circling within All-That-Is, the formless forming, and I have been circling into a thousand things, and I still don't know if I am Suiko, or a Pissarro peasant, or nearing Who I Really Am. ~ Andi



11.27.2011

Grandmother's Prayer:























"
From the depth of my nothingness, I prostrate myself before Thee, O Most Sacred, Divine and Adorable Heart of Jesus*, to pay Thee all the homage of love, praise and adoration in my power. Amen." ~
St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

And a prayer I've also learned to pray:























“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
~ Buddha


*
I had found my grandmother's old rosary and several pictures of various saints. Loving Jesus, too, note that this photo was torn so no sacrilege is meant. The window to His soul will always be His heart.

Love this:

"
My Most Important Relationship Is With My Source... There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come. If you tend to that relationship, first and foremost, you will then, and only then, have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; your relationship with money; your relationship with your parents, children, grandchildren, the people you work with, your government, your world . . . will all fall swiftly and easily into alignment once you tend to this fundamental, primary relationship first." ~ Abe

11.22.2011

Party Like It's...

1999

"Before the contrast and before the summoning, and before the answering of Source Energy, the Universe was less. So rather than thinking in terms of time, think in terms of expansion, and then you will understand time in the way we understand it. We never think about how long anything takes. We are just enjoying the expansion. And so, our now is always powerful in our anticipation of what is becoming."

11.19.2011

Only Make Believe



“Surely there is grandeur in knowing that in the realm of thought, at least, you are without a chain; that you have the right to explore all heights and depth; that there are no walls nor fences, nor prohibited places, nor sacred corners in all the vast expanse of thought.” ~ Robert Green Ingersoll

All the power we will ever have is in the telling of our stories. Aloud or quietly to ourselves, it doesn't matter. This has been the great lesson for me. Professing to be a writer, I attempt to breathe life into the nonexistent while completely ignoring my own existence. Had I not created this sacred space to toil with my story, I know I would not be where I am today. Though I'm reassured that I am exactly where I need to be in this moment there is the knowing with all lessons come tests. Those tests inspire me to tell a continuing story of improvement while making peace with "what is."

Eventually, I'll gratitude* to a higher understanding.

For now, when there's a dissolution, so many elements come into play. I'm telling an improved story that those elements dissolve and hearts soften. That there will be an embracing of how and where I want to raise the children. There will an calm understanding of my leaving a business partnership completely. That, with ease, as I stay optimistic, all requests will fall into place as I trust The Universe to conspire to meet the visions that I have for myself and my children. I'll keep it all general for now knowing The Unknown is a brilliant mind reader...

...heart reader...soul reader...I just have to keep writing.

*LoveYouAutoCorrect: Graduate though gratitude also applies!

11.18.2011

Who You Truly Are


"We do not want you to think that you could fail, but it is only in the mis-belief that you think you could that you are truly free to experience the physical plane of existence. If you truly knew who you were, all this would be bland and meaningless. You would twiddle your thumbs, pace the floor rather than fully experiencing the physical plane of existence. Ironically, challenges cause one to take ownership."~
Ships of Song


Ownership?*

Sometimes, I think I'm the owner of
The Maltese Falcon.

Sometimes, The Titanic.

*But then I remind myself of who I truly Am and own it.

11.14.2011

Party Girls

They were so disappointed in themselves. They weren't even together. Two separate parties. They wanted to know what partying was like having never gone and having the reputation of being the sorts never to show up at any. They being my oldest at home. So came confession time. They sat me down. Tears poured. Angst abound. I had no idea where they were. Connected by text, I had no previous reason to believe they were not where they said. But their anguish frightened me. They were so heartbroken. So my fear led to questions like:

Did you do drugs?

No.


Did you get drunk?


No.


Did you get physical with anyone relatively cute?


No.


Did you have fun?


That's when they laughed. Finally.

What did you do?

We lied to you.

Yes, they did. What's most troubling is that I'm aware of the types of parties that are thrown up here. They're full of opportunities to make exceptionally poor decisions. My girls were basically spectators but I have a few fellows to thank for that. Lack of a better word, bodyguards. They know, I know they were watching out for them. I asked the girls to give them my thanks. They hesitated mulling over the 'cool' factor but conceded as punishment.

Since nothing happens to you but for you, it gave us a nice opportunity to talk about the journey that they are on to discover themselves. We talked of freewill. Spoke of choice generated inward or choice generated outward (peer-pressure). Self-forgiveness. But mostly, detours. We make it easy or difficult.

In my life, I continue to have no expectations but joyful anticipation that each day of life is getting better and better even when 'reality' is testing that theory. But it's easier now to see light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel was a detour. I'd walk it again to look into the eyes of these beautiful girls coming to understand that it's through their choices that they create the lives they live. They'll have tunnels, I'm certain, but my wish is that they're short and the archways are wide so that the light enters more easily. With, of course, my other wish being that they come to know that life, well lived, is the ultimate party.

11.11.2011

Where Wise Wishes Wait

In the valley between Belief and Desire,
lives a sky of stars owning their fire.

Dancing, gathering
in a peaceful wait.

Brilliantly bold
quite heavy with fate.

So, there they play
throughout the day
reflecting at night the heavens.

Each a promise kept
into the moment leapt
from the heart of whom had beckoned.

Dancing Stars - Stop Motion Animation


11.10.2011

Meanwhile, Back On Earth...



Once upon a time, this house was full of the cluttered sounds of television. Today, it is more of a cacophony of musical madness. As the children ready for school, the first thing that happens is a full blasting of their favorite tunes. As I move from door to door, it sometimes feels like I'm changing radio stations. I don't judge their tastes in music save for a few 'explicit' lyrics heard coming from the older girls' rooms in regards to their youngest sister's ears who (the baby of the Babydolls) quickly "reassures" me, I hear alot worse at school.

Comforting.

But music is comforting. It's Soul Sustenance. If you want to hurt someone put down their tastes in music. Tell them how you think what connects them to that place deep within or what helps them disconnect from the outside is inferior to what you think they should listen to. Try it and see if a fight doesn't ensue or, if they're wise, a fleeing. I'll take this moment to apologize for ever having done it; judged another's connection or escape.

Next to devouring the sound of someone's music, I love when another attempts a cover. It's a favorite thing to seek out. Imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery. It's like saying, I love that so much that I need it to flow through me. I know it's why singing in the shower is so prevalent. Of course, that's a little more difficult to blog.

11.06.2011

Clearing A Path

Memories are the pathway to present moments. They are those things which you wish to keep in the storehouse of your mind to be drawn up to empower the present moment. All things are coexistent and holographic in the eyes of eternity and infinity. Linear thought processes are simply a point of orientation in order that the human mind can comprehend existence. You cannot live in the past successfully or appropriately maneuver within the future. The present moment is the power. The emergence of memories are brought forth either to inspire or be discarded if they are of no benefit. Allow memories of past experiences to be pathways to present moments. Let them be beacons and guides towards your ultimate destination on the pathway of life. ~ Ships of Song

11.03.2011

Make. Believe.

"I am writing in the garden. To write as one should of a garden one must write not outside it or merely somewhere near it, but in the garden." ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett, Playwright & Author

National Geographic speculates that most of the species on Earth are still unknown and unnamed. While 1.2 million life forms have been identified by science, there may be as many as 7.5 million that are not, or 86 percent of the total. I suspect that this breakdown is similar to the situation in your life, Virgo. You know about 14 percent of what you need to know, but there's still a big frontier to explore. The coming months should be prime time for you to cover a lot of new ground -- and now would be a perfect moment to set the stage for that grand experiment.
~ The Unknown

11.02.2011

One Night Rental

FADE IN:

INT. A VIDEO STORE - NIGHT

FRANK, a shy great looking guy hitting 30-ish, enters the deserted establishment. The BELL alerts the woman behind the counter. VIVIAN, 20-ish, beautiful and bored is dressed for a night out. She looks up at him from a magazine.

VIVIAN
We're closing in 10 minutes.

FRANK
Really?

The CLOCK above the door reads 11:20.

FRANK
The sign says midnight.

VIVIAN
(shrugging)
Slow night.

Avoiding eye contact, he quietly agrees.

VIVIAN
And I've got plans.

He concedes.

FRANK
(walking towards the door)
I'll come back.

VIVIAN
Waaaait.
(moving towards him)
"One night rentals gets a free drink and your choice of popcorn or candy."
How hard is picking out one movie?

He turns around and faces the AISLES. Movie cases bombard his vision. He hesitates.

VIVIAN
Just grab something. It's not like you're buying it.

FRANK
I'm not stuck with it?

VIVIAN
(laughing)
No. Just a 24 hour commitment. And if you hate it --

Looking at his shoes to avoid her gaze.

FRANK
Less?

She comes around the counter and motions him to follow her.

VIVIAN
What are you looking for?

Her LEGS gracefully make their way through the aisle.

FRANK
(uncertain)
Um, maybe Action?

She smiles over her shoulder. He looks away.

FRANK
(awkward)
No. Drama.

He follows closely behind her trying to keep his eyes on the titles.

VIVIAN
You should know what you like.

FRANK
I'm easily confused.

Vivian grabs a case off the shelf and abruptly turns around.

VIVIAN
How about Fantasy?

He nearly collides with her as she holds the title up to his face which reads:

MY SUPER EX GIRL FRIEND

FRANK
Uh -- no documentaries.

VIVIAN
(reading the case)
You're funny. And this does not belong here.
(talking to the movie case)
Bad Girl.

She takes the case and moves away from him. Her BACKSIDE sways gracefully.

FRANK
Yeah.
(beat)
Listen, thanks for the help but I should let you lock up.

She continues to look. She bends down giving a full sense of her curvature.

VIVIAN
(looking up)
You are not leaving without Milk Duds.

He steadies himself.

VIVIAN
Do you like Westerns?

He doesn't.

VIVIAN
Romance?

FRANK
Really, it's not a problem. It's late and I need to go see my --

VIVIAN
(pointing at a case)
Horror?

That strikes discord in Frank. He shakes it off.

VIVIAN
Yeah. Not my genre either.

FRANK
It's not that I'm that particular. I just uh --

She walks past him to another aisle. He watches her intently. She peers over the shelf. He avoids her gaze.

VIVIAN
You need to escape. You need mind blowing escape.

He openly concedes her statement.

She pulls out a couple cases from the shelf.

VIVIAN
(walking back to him)
A suggestion. After a hard day's work go ahead and let go of all the things
pulling you down. Just kick back with this:

Shoves DIE ANOTHER DAY in his face.

VIVIAN
or this!

Swaps it out for DIE HARD.

Vivian leans in him giving him her FULL attention.

VIVIAN
What do you think?

His eyes have become fixated on her chest. She moves her head down to meet his eyes and he follows her eyes until she is standing normally. She smiles curiously.

VIVIAN
I can tell you're out of the loop. Maybe...
(beat)
...this isn't the kind of video store you want.

FRANK
Loop? No. No! I just want a laugh.

VIVIAN
(epiphany)
A comedy! Of course!
(shoving the movies onto the shelf)
Forget these. Follow me.

FRANK
(giving up)
Really, you've been helpful.

VIVIAN
No I haven't.

He stumbles back towards the door.

VIVIAN
Wait.

She jets to the candy rack and thrust a box of MILK DUDS towards him.

VIVIAN
Here. On me.

FRANK
No thank you.

VIVIAN
(endeared)
Take them.

He hesitates.

VIVIAN
Take them!

He does.

VIVIAN
You know, you're a really nice guy.

He's fumbles with the candy.

VIVIAN
Really.
(beat)
A couple of friends and I are headed down
to the pub on the corner.

She walks to him again. He freezes. She moves in closely.

VIVIAN
They've got a great dark ale. Wanna come?

He backs away from her and smiles shyly.

Vivian watches him move away from her.

He leans his back against the door pushing it slightly open.

FRANK
(looking straight at her)
Yeah.

She's delighted.

FRANK
But...

He looks down at the box of candy "DUD" is all he sees.

VIVIAN
(deflated)
You're overdue.

He chuckles pathetically. What can he say?

The BELL sounds and he's gone.

FADE OUT.

Commentary: One night I went into the video store in a new town we had moved to and I was overwhelmed by the selection. The girl behind the counter was so sweet and helpful. As she was directing me, she was telling me of crushing on some guy that religiously came in on Friday nights to rent. I think she may have even scheduled herself specifically on Friday nights. Ha! She was darling. I don't know if anything ever came of them. Of course, part of me hopes so.

© 2007 AndiWritesAgain

11.01.2011

How To Play The Game

FADE IN:

INT. LOUNGE - NIGHT

ROGER and VICKIE, late 30's, are out having drinks.

VICKIE
Are you ready?

ROGER
Sure.

VICKIE
Truth or Dare?

ROGER
Truth.

VICKIE
(without hesitation)
No one I know really likes you.

ROGER
What?

VICKIE
(matter-of-fact)
I think it would be in your best interest to seek professional help.

ROGER
Wait.

VICKIE
My turn.

ROGER
Wait. That's not how you play.

VICKIE
Roger? I'm telling the truth.

ROGER
Yeah. Except, I'm supposed to tell you the truth. You ask, I confess.

VICKIE
Okay, I'll try again. Would you agree that you have no friends?

ROGER
No, Vickie, I would not agree with that!

VICKIE
This game makes no sense. You seem to be saying that my winning or
losing is contingent upon your "truthful" response? Where is the logic in
that?

ROGER
It's not really about winning or losing.

VICKIE
Or logic.

ROGER
It's just how you play the game! You ask, I confess.

VICKIE
Or I dare, you idiotically do?

ROGER
Well...uh...yeah.

VICKIE
Okay.

ROGER
(bummed)
Truth or Dare?

VICKIE
Dare.

ROGER
You know, I think you should say, truth.

VICKIE
No.

ROGER
I said it.

VICKIE
You didn't have to.

ROGER
Come on, say it.

She refuses.

ROGER
But I have a revelation for you.

VICKIE
You're so manipulative.

ROGER
I didn't realize it was my turn.

VICKIE
Funny! I said, dare.

ROGER
Fine. Fine. I dare you to say truth.

(BEAT)

VICKIE
Truth.

ROGER
No one I know really likes you and I think it would be in your best interest to
seek professional help.

VICKIE
That's cheating! I did what you dared. I said it. I fulfilled my obligation and
therefore consider your comment null and void, hence, untruthful.

She downs a shot of whiskey.

ROGER
They could help you with that too.

VICKIE
How dare you!

ROGER
What? Be so truthful?

VICKIE
Is it your turn? I think it's your turn again.

ROGER
I'm not playing anymore.

VICKIE
So I win by forfeit?
(delighted, she raises her glass)
Yea for me!

ROGER
You didn't win.

VICKIE
You quit.

ROGER
It's not about winning or losing...it's about how you play the game!

VICKIE
Well then Roger, darling, I dare you to play my way.

Roger downs his drink and digs in his heels.

VICKIE
Are you ready?

Hell yeah he is.

VICKIE
Truth or Dare?

FADE OUT.

Commentary: This short came about while feverishly attempting to avoid housework. Sad, I know. Success would have seen a longer version. The house won.

© 2006 AndiWritesAgain