3.15.2013

All the Light You Need's Within You


“Just at present you only see the tree by the light of the lamp. I wonder when you would ever see the lamp by the light of the tree.” ~ G. K. Chesterton

3.14.2013

X is for...

Dear X,
Y?
Zzzzzzzz* 


*PTSD is exhausting. 

2.27.2013

W is for...

WISHES
WOUNDS WISDOM

"Indeed, it is important to be a guardian over your thoughts, but even more importantly to be proactive by purposely and intentionally creating a resonant vibration by identifying your soul tone and projecting that out into your world through song and chant. Resonant vibration is like light, when you sing the song of creation with that internal tonal note, you light the darkness of your reality and the shadows fade away—and you are in the creative force of All That Is." ~ Ships of Song


Recently, Debbie Ford cast off her shadow and merged back into the Pure Positive Light of her being. Honestly, it took me by surprise. By that I mean, I didn't realize how deeply my appreciation was for her until that moment upon reading the news. She had been a huge source of comfort for me. A synchronous energy entering my life when I needed her desperately. A wish come true. 

"When we trust that our best interest and the evolution of our souls are the Divine's highest priorities, we will feel the spark inside of us, the spark that is always there...driving us, urging us, and nudging us to evolve." ~ Debbie (because we were on a first name basis :)

She taught me to "make peace with my shadow." What was my shadow? I never dreamed, upon that first blog, that I would come so far to be willingly open to write of domestic abuse. But that isn't the darkest of my shadows. The one most lacking Light that I carry is that I allowed it to seep into the bright innocent world of my children. Toxic like second hand smoke. Staining them. I created that*. But now I'm being driven hard by a spark inside of me to transform all of this. They are able to fully express any and all emotions safely with me. I'm asking of them what I was too scared to ask of myself and that is to be fully present and loving to all aspects of themselves. My daughters are goddesses. Gifts from the gods. I affirm there will be no man (or woman :) entering their lives that do not reflect that back to them. 

What is also being transformed is that soul that resonated into my world all those years ago through my self-loathing and feelings of worthlessness. It's barely recognizable. I did not mean to shift the balance of power. I have to be careful not to be cruel or unloving because then have we not just traded places? If you recall the blog before last, the bargaining stage is very much present. In that, there are residual behaviors. But there comes a time when all things merge at the point of truth. The truth will set you free and move you forward. And the truth is: There will be no going backwards. And, as I remain consistant, I will push this ridiculous bargaining into the next phase...which I pray is brief. 

Again, I have to ask, What would Love do now? 

Love would remind that we are free... 

So, my goddesses are refusing to travel. In fact, they are refusing to engage in any kind of bargaining. Though, I do think many offerings are from a place of deep remorse. I want them to accept some graciously. Still, they must be allowed to be present in what they are feeling and be allowed to move through it. 

And, with the help of some beautiful synchrony, they are being taught to trust that we are a high priority of the Divine. They are getting a sense of their Soul's tone. For me, there is nothing greater than their peace of mind.  All of my life, I sought it vigilantly. I've learned that it is always patiently waiting for me to choose it.  Like happiness. And Love. 

May those be the songs that are salvaged from all of this. 



And may we dance wildly to them. 

*Even though one daughter, least stained, often reminds me that we create our own reality and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I am blessed.