M is for...


Once upon a time, she was just a thought. And that thought was powerful. And that thought had focus. And that thought waited until the perfect time to manifest as a thought in the mind of my daughter and, soon thereafter, her husband. I might have that backwards. He's got some natural mama skills. Nonetheless, there was a perfect biological coalescing nurtured by the spiritual umbilical cord directly linked back to that powerful first thought. 

Thus, tada, here she (am I good at callin' it or what) is. 


On August 7th, she gracefully entered the world. I anticipate this will be her nature; to be grace-filled. Each time I hold her, I whisper a reminder to her of how she is still a part of that powerful first thought. And whenever she is with me, I will fill her with joyful thoughts. I will tell her over and over the story of her birth as I know it. I will tell her of her amazing journey into the world. I will share with her how wise I think she is to choose such a loving, beautiful mother and such a loving, devoted father. She will want to hear the story over and over. 

It begins with a phone call, My Little Lady.
Did you get my pic/text? Your mother asks. 

No, Babydoll, I didn't. I don't have good service for pictures. 

Your mother's voice is a little frustrated by now. Mom, get on your Facebook then. 

Of course, I am having to deal with one of many things so I tell her I will as soon as I can. 

Mom, can you just do it now, please? 

As you well know, when your mother gets bossy, it's important to her so I get on my Facebook and low and behold there you were inboxed and just the cutest set of double pink lines on a plastic applicator I'd ever seen! 

I was so excited, I cried. Happy tears. Those are the best kind. Anyway, you go about your job of growing inside her tummy. Like many other babies, your mother got very sick so she came home to live with me for a few weeks so I could help comfort her. Now, that might make you feel a little sad or bad but know that I want to thank you because I got to have my Babydoll back and that made be very happy. And I knew she'd be okay because I had been sick, too. And look at me, I'm just fine. Eventually, she did feel better and she went home to your father who had been away working with your other grandmother. They were happy to be back together and you continued to grow. 

Your parents had a very strong idea of how they wanted to help bring you into the world. They wanted to be at home and they wanted you to be a waterbaby. So they had a wonderful midwife join in the fun of you. But between you and me, your mother is not so fond of hospitals and the business of all that. I liked that she was able to make strong choices for you and her. Your parents also read many books and took some course together on the computer. Honestly, they didn't want anyone at your birth but the two of them, the midwife and her assistant. I thought that was a wonderful idea. Your mother's silly. She worried I might be sad but I knew you probably wanted a little privacy too. I mean, after all, you were gonna be nakie. 

So, finally, a phone call came at 6 am. Your mother isn't sure if you're ready or not so we stay on the phone for an hour while I time her contractions. Oh! What are contractions? It's when your mother's tummy was tightening and relaxing and getting ready to push you out. But you were having a hard time making up your mind. So, before we got off the phone, I told her to relax until she had her appointment later that morning. Even then, you still weren't making up your mind. But at 2:21 that afternoon you father calls and says, Andrea, she wants to talk to you. She doesn't think she can do this. Your father sounded worried so I told a terrible joke. She doesn't think she can have a baby? He laughed and said, No, she doesn't think she can have her naturally. So, he puts your mother on the phone and I remind her that it's the most natural thing in the world. I can hear her breathing. I give her a little peptalk and tell her to call the midwife after we hang up. I didn't want to panic her but when your father is calling me telling me she doesn't think she can have you naturally that just meant she was having you very soon. And she did. Two hours and 20 minutes later you came into the world, swimmingly. 

I was able to meet the assistant who told me it was one of the most beautiful births she had ever witnessed. Your parents slow danced during the more difficult contractions. Your father guided you into the warm water of this world. There were a lot of happy tears splashing all about. All the while, I was driving and driving and driving and driving to come meet you... 

Yes, My Little Lady, those are happy tears.


L is for...


The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.  ~Rabindranath Tagore

I found a beautiful butterfly today that had made one final metamorphosis back into the Quantum. Death, in all ways, used to unnerve me. But it's simply a releasing. In the releasing, we're left to reflect upon the gifts in memories and tokens of whom they had been to us.  As we hold those thoughts and things, we bind ourselves to the essence of what they are now. 





When I went to lift this beautiful butterfly to bury her, I realized she was stuck to the earth.  So, I was gentle yet diligent as I began to gather her and it was then she surrendered her wings to me. 


Flawlessly, they fell into my hand.

Then came the releasing of my tears all over them; this sign that could not go unacknowledged.

I have felt stuck befriending gravity like a madman.  Half living. Falling into old patterns...falling...falling...falling. 

I chose this life. I engaged in a covenant that I would come and participate in the full richness of who I Am. 

She did that. Lived her covenant.


Faithful. Even in the dark chrysalis of her unknown. 

So, I allow my life to bind with this angel through the divine gifts she gave me.

Her pristine wings and the small sacred space that held her earthbound that served as my mirror.