They were so disappointed in themselves. They weren't even together. Two separate parties. They wanted to know what partying was like having never gone and having the reputation of being the sorts never to show up at any. They being my oldest at home. So came confession time. They sat me down. Tears poured. Angst abound. I had no idea where they were. Connected by text, I had no previous reason to believe they were not where they said. But their anguish frightened me. They were so heartbroken. So my fear led to questions like:
Did you do drugs?
Did you get drunk?
Did you get physical with anyone relatively cute?
Did you have fun?
That's when they laughed. Finally.
What did you do?
We lied to you.
Yes, they did. What's most troubling is that I'm aware of the types of parties that are thrown up here. They're full of opportunities to make exceptionally poor decisions. My girls were basically spectators but I have a few fellows to thank for that. Lack of a better word, bodyguards. They know, I know they were watching out for them. I asked the girls to give them my thanks. They hesitated mulling over the 'cool' factor but conceded as punishment.
Since nothing happens to you but for you, it gave us a nice opportunity to talk about the journey that they are on to discover themselves. We talked of freewill. Spoke of choice generated inward or choice generated outward (peer-pressure). Self-forgiveness. But mostly, detours. We make it easy or difficult.
In my life, I continue to have no expectations but joyful anticipation that each day of life is getting better and better even when 'reality' is testing that theory. But it's easier now to see light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel was a detour. I'd walk it again to look into the eyes of these beautiful girls coming to understand that it's through their choices that they create the lives they live. They'll have tunnels, I'm certain, but my wish is that they're short and the archways are wide so that the light enters more easily. With, of course, my other wish being that they come to know that life, well lived, is the ultimate party.