7.11.2012

G is for...

GARDEN

“However many years she lived, Mary always felt that 'she should never forget that first morning when her garden began to grow'.”~ The Secret Garden



It seems like a very long time ago since I've been able to garden in a way that is life-affirming and soul-soothing. It's ironic because I'm the managing partner of a farm operation. I deal in crops all the time. But that is only due to a financially tactical move by my ex-husband who, not wanting to break up any personal or farm assets during our divorce, thought it best to combined it all into the "50/50" partnership I manage. 

Hence, we are business partners. 

I wanted to serve the children. Wasn't all of this created for them? I believed, at the time, it was for the best. And as all of the finagling and logistics were taking place over how this was best accomplished, I allowed my confidence in creating to waver. I began to question everything I thought I knew. So, I agreed and considered that maybe this was what my life was supposed to look like. 

I wanted peace. 

I wanted not to fight. 

So...

I took the Path of Least Resistance. 

And here I am, finally, gardening again. But each time I put my hands in the soil I can feel that my life wants to grow beyond and out of this situation. And though I acknowledge the beautiful ways I've expanded and the bravery it has taken to open my heart to discovering who I really am, I can feel the days ripening...
when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom...*

So...

Affirmation: My Soul enjoys prevailing in a good old fashion Fighting of the Good Fight. 

Ahhh, I think I'll just convince My Higher Self to create a new belief that skips the mess and takes us straight to blossoming.   

Regardless, I've faith, faith, faith after seeing my poor Sun beaten garden come back to life with a little prayer and a little ingenuity. 

*Anais Nin