Tenfold: #4

I have been writing plays since I was five years old. Somewhere in the archives of my mother's bedroom closet there is probably the original Little Bunny Foo-Foo script. Sadly, my spelling has not improved since then but anyone with common sense knows Litel is Little and Bune is Bunny. I might mention that my handwriting hasn't seen any more development since those chunky little fingers put crayon to grocery sack. Anyway, not surprising, in the time of that writing, I had very little self-criticism. I liked all of it. I was marvelous. Later, I tapped into astrology as guide to character development. It was a short cut. A fun way to cheat. I wrote for myself and was enjoying it. But, somewhere, my mind got in the way. Or rather, I decided that I needed the minds of others to measure my marvelousness. Oddly, with my Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Uranus and Pluto in Virgo, I had no business asking for criticism. If anyone knows anything about the stars, a Virgo can be very critical with her most vulnerable subject being herself. So, upon hearing the minds of others, I found myself no longer hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head. It was I who had been bopped on the head. And it hurt. And any truly wounded writer resorts to poetry. Which I did. And I thought it was marvelous and showed it to no one just to keep it that way. Then the most extraordinary thing happened. My son was born. And in the mix of his 13 years of living in this physical world the way he does, he has gifted me an understanding of behavioral analysis, particularly, in predicting his wants and needs. And what is playwriting but the study of human behavior? At least the type of stories I desire to tell. Without going into the details of reinforcement contingencies, extinction procedures, or shaping maladaptive behaviors, it's safe to say I have some sense of human motivation. Human desire. The stuff of creation. And, recently, I went back to the drawing board on the heels of my two fire signs in Jupiter and Saturn inviting the passion of my Scorpion Mars along with the compassion of my Scorpion Neptune to join the party. Translated: I forgave myself for not being perfect and just began to write. I've even used crayons...

While In Love

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. Judy Garland

Take this physical life,
move it forward.
Be open to learning
where you and I meet
in the you and the her awaiting.
Take this material wealth,
expand it in tithing.
Be open to becoming more of
what you and I were
in the you that will meet
this Unknown Love.

Let her whisper in your ear.
Let her kiss your lips.

With Unconditional Love,
come into full knowing that
the life we struggled
to manifest together
would lead us here.
This place of parting paths,
each paved with possibilities
of forgiveness and friendship.

Without question, know,
as you walk your path
and I walk mine,
my heart heard you
as passionately
as my soul felt
your gentle lips.

Least Common Denominator

Eleven years
spent loving
outside
the rules of
social convention
plus
eleven years
spent struggling
inside
the lines of
marital expectation
equals
division
using a simple
equation
after painful
calculation:

11/11=1