April has been Autism Awareness Month and I've become keenly aware of how far I've moved from the core community we once knew that supported my child and me. There is a left-handed compliment (and since I'm left-handed, I'll take it) in someone believing that you can be all things to all those you love. I find it difficult to ask for help. I would rather just do it myself. So, I fed this perception. But life expands and the larger it gets the more help you need. I understand that now. There are few resources here. Very few. But unlike the last small town we lived, where I was an overbearing mother attempting to sabotage the school system, here I am welcomed because they are loving enough to understand they have little to offer. Even with a low population, the number of autistic children is astounding. As I mentioned in the previous blog, a person can separate themselves into two. And, by doing so, slow the process of anything they are hoping to manifest. Part of me wants to stay and create viable options for the children here --I'm starting a parent's support group this summer gathering of forces for an interdisciplinary approach towards change -- but there is the other part of me that wants to gather my children and go to where I know there are existing communities that are thriving and join them. Vacillation is a poor way to live. But I draw myself back into The Moment... remembering that right now I truly have a lovely view. And that answers will come...when I offer up clearer questions.
Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days:
...just to go with the flow and dance a little...
Day 30 -- Whatever tickles your fancy*
*Yikes! K...Day 29 is missing** and, until May 11th has come and gone, I'll continue to blame all my communicative failings on Mercury's illusionistic spin backwards. Tricky little planet.
**FOUND IT: Day 29 -- Your year, in great detail. Yikes!