The weight of fever is on me. My body is shivering in my parents' bed. I can see the kitchen through the doorway. The table is partly exposed. It has a thick aluminum band that runs the course of the table top held up by aluminum legs. It's cluttered. The only chair I see is aluminum with vinyl yellow and green floral upholstery. I hear a boxing match on T.V.. My mom is moving about the kitchen. She holds my baby sister. I must be 4-ish. My dad comes in to check on me. He puts a thermometer under my tongue. He tells me Muhammad Ali is fighting. He says how he had a different name: Cassius Clay. He explains that Ali hasn't fought in awhile because he likes fighting in the boxing rings and does not like fighting in the wars. I ask him what war is. He readjusts the thermometer in my mouth. He hopes I never know. He carries a large speaker with purple tweed-like material covering it to the bed and places it by my head. He tells me he played music to me when I was a little baby. You wailed until I turned it on, he said. That quieted you every time. He turns it on and I fall asleep to the sound of Simon and Garfunkel:
When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
When you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
I awaken to darkness except for a light shining into the kitchen from the livingroom. The weight has melted and soaked into the sheets around me. The speaker sits silently by waiting, perhaps for me to wail, but I only remember closing my eyes.