In the coming days, you could do a lot to develop a better relationship with darkness. And no, I don't mean that you should do bad things and seek out negativity and be fascinated with evil. When I use that word "darkness," I'm referring to confusing mysteries and your own unconscious patterns and the secrets you hide from yourself. I mean the difficult memories and the parts of the world that seem inhospitable to you and the sweet dreams that have lost their way. See what you can do to understand this stuff better, Virgo. Open yourself to the redemptive teachings it has for you. ~ Open Says A Me.*
I'm not surprised that I drew this little astral blurb to me. During a brief meditations last week, I opened a window asking for a slight breeze in understanding as simply as possible, Who Am I? I didn't mean in the sense of spiritual totality. I meant in the whys and ways of my personality.
I remind myself of what those Ship people preach, "Personality is a soul induced aspect of life to create the opportunities for learning." Beyond personality, of course, we are all of the same consciousness but I wanted to tap into the little me in the Here and Now.
So double thus, not surprising, one of my teens begged for a little 411 about their mama:
Now, many, many moons ago, as the cliche goes, I took this personality assessment in high school. Result: INFP. Then, some moons ago that were not as a go, I took it again, in college. Result: INFP. Then, of course, the other night. My daughter had been learning various testing protocols in her psychology class and I agreed to be her guinea pig (which I much preferred over lab rat) for this assessment. I never really considered the results before. Having no savvy internet skills in college and, literally, having no savvy internet in high school, I just dismissed the whole thing not thinking or caring that the information might have some relevance in my life. Or, perhaps, I was really too busy enjoying how the pencil dots on the paper made random yet consistent patterns.
Of course, the on-line assessment and Google changed all that.
I sense that all things "as-is" are neutral. We apply meaning and the moment we apply meaning we open the pathway to experiencing that meaning. That's the power in perception. But, I know, it's hard to see myself in the dark. Even when the flashes of self-knowing find their way in, I'm still trippin' on shadows. I asked for a broader perception because I wanted to stop trippin'. More light = fancier foot work. As I looked to the weakness of an INFP, each resonated and evoked a sense of calm in me that my thoughts and actions were more innately me than I realized like the color of my eyes or texture of my hair. I delighted in discovering that I was not so far from myself. I could see those weaknesses are just moments between the vibrant glints of the disco ball that is my life. I have, for awhile now, been measuring myself against who I am with whom I think I should be right now pressing this wallflower deeper into the corner. If I've learned nothing, this I know: Any self-negating in the mix indicates the ratio of self-love is skewed. I've been lacking some self-acceptance. Taking myself "as-is" is the neutral baseline for creating new meaning.
So, I'm creating an even more kind and loving self. A very patient self:
"Patience is the process when change gives the courtesy to come into alignment with what you are asking for." ~ Ships of Song
Luckily, I've a very patient personality. But in the meantime...
*BTW, for those just tuning in, I stumbled into an interest in astrology because of a writing deadline wherein I needed multiple in depth character analyses. Waiting until the last minute, my college friend saved my ass with her zodiac book that had "standard" physical and detailed "behavioral" descriptions of various sun signs and WALLA 30 minutes later I had in my hands what would have taken a week (for me) ready to turn in the next morning. Sweet Action. AND the deal was basically sealed when I read that Virgos have procrastervasive tendencies and a tendency to make up words.
What's a girl to do?
What's a girl to do?