Best When Mixed w/ Oxygen

2's Day's Wonderfulness...

...from a long time ago.

Hell-Oh?

Go in peace and joy even in the midst of evil. It is a misperception that spirituality does not look evil in the eye. Not to resist it or attack it but to be in dominion of one's own being in the midst of it. To resist the reality of evil one would need to believe they are powerless from it. Embrace your light, acknowledge it, and know that you are in complete dominion over darkness by turning on the light. Go forward in life not as the injured child but as the creator that you are. ~ Ships of Song




Last weekend, I had a really wonderful time reconnecting with some of my old high school girlfriends. Personally, I think they get more beautiful with age. But they also get more set in their ways. One friend's husband wanted to know with whom she was meeting.

Him: You mean the "hippie" one?

Her: No, she's a free spirit.

Me: I'm so completely misunderstood! Ha... (I think to myself after being told this.)

I've only met her "hubby" at a class reunion and then only briefly. But both are extremely conservative and firm believers in Hell and The Devil which is technically one word: Thedevil. At least, around these parts. I've been warned conversations with them are often dominated by these two themes. I don't know much about him but I know my friend was a hell-raiser in high school and I understand some of what she might be attempting to balance if there were such places and powers.

True to what I've heard, our conversation did turn to these two themes. And, not surprising, the questions were directed at me being the one practicing little fear of such things.

How can you not believe?

Yikes. What to say?

Well, I believe in Love. I believe God is Love. I believe all things are of Love. And that Love is all there is. But I have seen people turn their backs to Love. They can refuse to acknowledge or ever come to know the power of it. The soul knows Love. It seems when someone turns their back to its light, the soul, being so far from what it intuitively knows, has difficulty navigating the darkness. Maybe it's in that space of separation from Love that we find Hell and those Delivering evil. Some people stay lost but there are others who, for whatever reason, turn back towards this light and in so doing, heal, forgive, make restitution and expand their own willingness to be what their soul wants to Be, Love.

I rambled more then stumbled over a most obvious example: How many people find Jesus, an icon of Love, in prison? My friend could buy that. There are other examples but this one she could wrap her heart and head around. The idea that there is only Love and the turning from it and the freewill of returning to it.

But, honestly, I've no idea what she told her husband when she got home! And I could be completely wrong about all of this. But she did ask. And I felt compelled to answer...honestly.

Satisfied

A woman I know was invited to a party where she would get the chance to meet her favorite musician, psychedelic folk artist Devendra Banhart. On her last look in the mirror before heading out the door, she decided that the small pimple on her chin was unacceptable, and gave it a squeeze. Wrong move. After it popped, it looked worse. She panicked. More squeezing ensued, accompanied by moaning and howling. Soon the tiny blemish had evolved into a major conflagration. Fifteen minutes later, defeated and in tears, she was nibbling chocolate in bed, unable to bring herself to face her hero with her flagrant new wound showing. The moral of the story, as far as you're concerned: Leave your tiny blemish alone. ~ Virgo's Imperfections



how many times have you heard someone say
if I had his money, I would do things my way
but little they know, that it's so hard to find
one rich man in ten with a satisfied mind

money can't buy back your youth when you're old
friend when you're lonely, oh peace to your soul
the wealthiest person is a pauper at times
compared to the man with a satisfied mind

my life is over and my time has run out
my friends and my loved ones, i'll leave these no doubt
one things for certain, when it comes my time
i'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind
i'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind
my life is over and my time has run out

my friends and my loved ones, i'll leave these no doubt
but one things for certain, when it comes my time
i'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind
one things for certain, when it comes my time
i'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind

~ Jeff Buckley's Satisfied Mind

Creative Ways One Might Leave the Planet

Part 1:

I have tasted death and it has the light flavor of grilled salmon with a nice brown sugar marinade. ~ Me

The other night, I almost laughed to death while at dinner with my sister and a friend. One second I'm doubling over in hysteria and the next I'm doubling over for the Heimlich. Short of being found dead in my bed after a wild session of love-making at the young age of 120, I'm not sure many other footnotes would be so enjoyed when read in my obituary. The column would state: She died laughing. But that publication will have to wait. I fully intend on being cremated with my ashes spread over some wonderful place yet to be seen by these eyes of mine. Not to mention my truest intention is a life's journey leading to that saucy alternate ending. I'm certain it would make the news sans photos, I hope. Wow, that's just kinda sick otherwise. My great-great grandchildren will never live it down and, secretly, they won't want to.

Oh, that granny...! ~ My Lineage

Part 2:

Well my behavior's been in question since the day I was born. ~ Quiet Riot

Before I could drive, my friend and I (in our oxford cloth pink and white striped button down shirts and chinos) were determined to go to a Quiet Riot, Axe and Queensryche concert 40 miles from home. I've no explanation for this except an unknowing teenage death-wish AND the fact that there was this guy my friend really liked that was supposed to tag along. Well, he didn't show but a very sad looking 1973 Pontiac Safari Station wagon, in the year of Our Lord 1984, did. Within those 11 years, this car had been resurrected over and over and over. Clearly, its end was nearing. Just getting in required suicidal tendencies but then again we were making our way to heavy-mega-metal-madness in some serious Rick Astley garb. Anyway, my friend assures me all is well in spite of the lack of seats, a muffler and, from what my ass remembers, shocks. Nonetheless, as we make our way down the road, without too many complications, I'm gaining confidence that all is very well. I've never met the driver but is someone my friend describes as a cool and mellow guy. Feeling his own brand of confidence, he torches a roach and is off to Cool City somewhere near Mellowville and I'm hoping somewhere near the concert. Forty miles takes 90 minutes...without traffic. Luckily, the concert isn't near any majorly populated areas and we arrive at the beginning of Take Hold of the Flame. I'll never forget thanks to the rather melodic headbanger serenading me while inadvertently and simultaneously stabbing me in the head with his spiked leather arm band. Attempting to avoid blood, my friend and I gravitate to the only other people in the arena that look like they might break out into Cry for Help. Two guys in oxford cloth and chinos. The four of us hit it off right away though it's more like being stuck in a foreign country far from your native tongue and finding an English oasis of conversation. But there is no talking over the concert and as it abruptly ends our "ride" finds us. He is stoned and ready to cruise. Playing heroes to us damsels-in-distress, the frat boys offer us a ride. My friend and I are at crossroads (keeping with the whole roadtrip metaphor) considering the cons (there were no pros in this situation) or a.k.a. Frat Boys vs Stoners:

#1 Frat boy con:
Potential psycho killers (using Aramis' Devin to lure their victims in).

#1 Stoner con:
It will take forever to get home if we get home (with car compounding the issue).

It's a coin toss between death on one side and how soon we could get home on the other.

The Frat boys win (and, looking back, were perhaps on a date).

But we do make it back by my friends curfew (otherwise her father would have killed us). Whew!

Part 3:

Ssssssssome other time, perhaps? ~ Kaa (The Jungle Book 1967)

Run over a rattlesnake with your three speed bike then almost have a heart attack trying to get home to your mom while trying not to look at the gory tire trail following you without apology.

Gettin' My $#&% Together

I want to see your willpower surge and throb and carry you to a ringing triumph in the next two weeks, Virgo. I hope to be cheering you on as you complete a plucky effort to overcome some long-standing obstacle . . . as you put the finishing touches on an epic struggle to defeat a seemingly intractable foe . . . as you rise up with a herculean flourish and put the stamp of your uniqueness on a success that will last a long time. ~ Sage Advice Sorely Needed

B is for Bunny

...and Beautiful and Brother and (a very funny) Bushwalla.*

I think the essence of a person is the soul's calling card. It's the magical, invisible umbilical cord that nurtures the expansion of a soul from lifetime to lifetime pulsating out a vibe of Who-They-Really-Be.

I like observing and playing a game of Match-Up. We all come from the same place but there are those that have similar essences...at least, that's what I pretend to be true. When I discovered this guy's, I had a melancholy feel for home. He reminded me of my estranged middle brother. Strangely, the more I listened to his music the more I thought of my brother. I thought of how funny he was growing up. I thought about the insane things he would say and do. I thought about the towel he'd wear as a cape becoming Superman and jumping off things he was told not to. I thought about my brother's music and pondered how sad it is that talent gets lost in a sea of everyday survival. I thought so much about him that he manifested back into my life in a real way. In a way that even included his music.

Anyway, I think it's beautiful to B one with your essence.

*The Hip-Hoptimistic (totally cribbed from the guy that was "Next Up")

Senyru

Senyru are like haiku, except they reveal an aspect of human nature juxtaposed with an image of nature. In contrast, haiku are short Japanese poems that invite us into a shared experience of nature. Both haiku and senryu are expressions of what is called the “haiku moment.” They are a moment of clarity that is similar to the meaning of "awe" in English. They are simple poems that can be said in one breath. In the Japanese tradition, seasonal words are associated with haiku. The use of seasonal words may or may not be used in the senyru genre of poetry. ~ By Ruth Eshbaugh, @ eHow


Sometimes sad goodbyes
carry fragrant sweet hellos
from some distant wind.

Whispering my name
winds carry you towards my ears
as my mouth inhales.

Wishing upon stars
blazing fast and free and far
right to where we are.

The still quiet dark
lights by way of fireflies
and thoughts of you.

In the loss of words
which oft accompanies awe
silence equates love.

Under the night sky
aquatic meditations
swim amongst the stars.

In my dream, we swim
lost in the playful currents
washing the pain away.

My sanctuary
let me dwell inside of you
while the storms rage on.

One night spent in dream
distant lands we call our own
waking finds us home.

Toast & Teenagers

I've been eating very few carbohydrates but I like how the word "Brioche" looks on the menu and how it sounds coming from the waiter's mouth so I give it a go on my last day in L.A. a couple of trips ago. It's a standard breakfast at the Standard Hotel.

As I'm waiting for this glorified piece of bread, a Sam Worthington/Jeremy Piven knock-off walks in and takes a seat at the bar. He chats with the waiter. They clearly know one another. From the accent, I can tell he's British. He keeps glancing over at my booth. I'm the only other dining in the lounge. He's giving me a vibe. A very kind one. An 'I'm a great guy' one. Normally, I have a book to hide behind when I'm out in public alone but I've left it in my room. I'm feeling shy and exposed. My brain floods towards him:

Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, don't talk to me!

I'm not attempting to be mean it's just I'm having the huge realization that the last couple of decades have made this type of exchange foreign to me.

My food comes and the waiter makes certain I have everything I need. I say something and Samermy finds it humorous...as does the waiter. I smile and nod towards my plate. I begin eating and immediately realized that I don't care for crusty french toast. The nice guy inquires, "Having the Brioche, eh?"

Looking at the large portion on the plate, to avoid eye-contact, I absently say, "I can't manage this much. There's enough for two." He smiles and swivels to face me. Don't talk to me rapidly recedes into:

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking!

He says, "I love their Brioche!"

Yikes. Using my fork and my best 'ambivalent-but-could-be-construed-as-an-affirmation', I gesture a Yum and take a bite. I've left myself wide open.

"So, where are you from?" I swallow just a little too quickly, almost choke and then say the most ridiculous thing I possibly could. "Um, not here. Another place."

I excuse myself mumbling that I have to catch a plane. This is the truth, btw, give or take 3 or 4 hours. Anyway, I drop enough cash to cover the meal along with a nice tip and leave rather...abruptly. Okay, maybe 'rather' isn't quite the word. Yeah, we can just drop that word all together. Needless to say, I felt completely out of my element and was just seeking some relief.

*********

Fast forward to a few days ago:

I drove my daughters to see the latest chick-flick at the theater. And with the subject of romance* on their minds, they ask me when or if I ever plan to get back 'out' there. I casually mention my boorish Brioche encounter only to get the "what for" thrown at me! It went a little like this:

Daughter 1:
He LOOKED like Sam and you just walked out?!?

Me:
Yes...but the Piven part...I don't know.

Daughter 2:
Yeah, I heard Piven's a Diva.

Me:
I'm not being fair and don't believe everything you hear.

Daughter 1:
AND he had an English accent?!?

Me:
I believe that's what I heard.

Daughter 2:
O.M.G. Mom! Don't you know that a guy with
an English accent is already 50% hot!

Me:
That is NOT true.

Daughter 1 & 2:
That IS true.

*********




I'm toast...

*...and I think I'll just stick to writing poetry for now.

Waiting...

...while believing.

The Fervor of Freedom

Purifying the path
as it expands
through the void
comes the fire
singeing the periphery
consuming history
charring the past
flames moving forward
towards an infinite horizon
on the other side
of some distant Sun

Manifesting Me

*Just* wanting to be happy is the best of all intentional requests, imho.

An Intentional Thought = Prayer
Meditation* on the Prayer = Connection
Faith in the Connection (Letting Go) = Manifestation

That's the imperfect formula I use for driving all the beautiful coincidences of my life.

The critical key for me to remember: Be thoughtful in my thinking.

And man, when something manifests -- be it a person, place or thing -- that is some serious happiness. The heads up, the 'yoo-hoo', the Hi-5 that fuels me.


I wrote this "equation" quite awhile ago to a friend. I was actually needing it more than they were at the time, I think. Looking back, I can see it has been the path to and the premise of this blog.



Today I'm posting my 100th entry (according to my dashboard) and I have a delightful sense that life has come full-circle. In this last rotation, something got added to my formula: The desire to act or inspired action. Life lined-up so much and paved such a clear direction towards autonomy that all I had to do was walk into it. It was a very personal path. Much was selfishly about me and needed to be. I'm surprised I blogged one word about it. I came out of my quiet place into this space. Because I feel connected, this next rotation is clearly expanding me outward towards others. Maybe it's my immediate family whom I've always been loyal and loving to but now desire to support in their own power to create or my local community which feels, to me, in the throes of some stagnant chaos needing dynamic change or some larger arena that may well be here in cyberspace...I don't really know. I need to set intentions. And I will. And if it's true that we can Be, Do, or Have Anything...I'll just start setting a slew of intentions! That feels right. Which, of course, means that just makes me happy. Whoop!

*I had originally written Mediation having failed to check in with spell check. I didn't catch that until now. It's funny. It's actually the right word. It basically means intervention. In this case, it's Divine.