Day 19: Passages*

...But this was not how the author of the book ended the
story.
He said that when Narcissus died, the Goddesses of the
Forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh
water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.
"Why do you weep?" the Goddesses asked.
"I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied.
"Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus," they
said, "for though we always pursued him in the forest, you
alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."
"But..... was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.
"Who better than you to know that?" the Goddesses said
in wonder, "After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each
day to contemplate himself!!"
The lake was silent for some time.
Finally it said:
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus
was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my
banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty
reflected."
"What a lovely story," the alchemist thought. ~ The Alchemist





"We're in a hurry to get to the top of the heap.
We don't realize that, as we spread Love,
we climb naturally. Maybe not most quickly,
but remember the story of the tortoise and the
hare. The tortoise, although he walked slowly
and steadily, reached the goal before the quick-footed
hare." ~ A Return to Love


“Your treasure – your perfection – is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.” ~ Eat Pray Love


*A passage from a book that has touched you.

Day 18: Surrender

-->A Picture That Makes You Feel<--

Consider your own life—how many times a day does some situation pop up that leads to moments of frustration and anxiety? Surrendering your head to your heart in those moments will lead you to balance and fulfillment. As you listen to your spirit, peace follows. So follow your spirit. Build your foundation in your heart. Love must be your innermost and spontaneous response towards every person you encounter. Say to yourself inside, "I just love." Use these words as a key to start the engine running in your heart and watch life brighten with new love and understanding. Surrender to your new awareness and let love unfold the purpose of creation to you.

~ Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart

Day 17: Ginkgo Biblio

aka What I want to be remembered for...

My friend interviewed me shortly after recouping from exposing myself for the sake of a college education (i.e. a "scholarship" pageant). Yes, I'm referring to the Swimsuit Competition. I'm modest by nature and I truly admire a woman that can express confidence through her physicality. She is not me. So, stepping out in heels and a bathing suit was as frightening as anything I had ever done to that point. It was a real challenge. I remember being center stage, allowing myself to be scrutinized and asking myself, Why am I here? Shortly after securing the scholarship, my friend asked me what I saw myself doing with my life. Fair question. Scholarship meant college. College meant career. I told him the first thing that came mind: I'm going to spending 50 years living life and 10 years writing about it. Could I have given him a more ambiguous answer? There I was back to, Why am I here and why did I just let someone spray glue my ass?*

In truth, I've lived a life of Am I? instead of I Am!! A life of questioning based in fear and insecurity. That is nothing short of one in which you hear a calling and you turn away from it. When you have an answer and you twist it back into a question. You feel a knowing in your chest and you dismiss it as heartburn, or worse, heartache. It is the deepest disconnection from Self. It's putting you out there in the vulnerable state of believing you are alone on the stage, stripped and unworthy when, in fact, you are the audience, the judge and the contestant. And then, when you feel the connection, you have the beautiful realization that it's not a contest at all; it's a story and you're writing it.

I don't have to be remembered for anything.

I want to be the one remembering.



*Necessary to avoid "ride-ups' aka wedgies.

Day 16: Aging Gratefully

aka Something you want to do in the next 5 years...

Sometime ago, I mentioned wanting to empower young women. I've a daughter who wants to be an actress. Another that wants to be a marine biologist. Another that wants to be an artist and, yet, another wants to sing. I want their dreams to envelope them. It is truly a powerful thing to tell someone to follow their dreams. To voice it. To say, Of course it's possible. Needless-to-say, the girls are excited!


As for me, I've no expectations only anticipation that good things will show up and paths will be clearly marked for us to follow. I love the dreams that have come true in my life. Some big. Some small. Yet, they are all cause for celebration. I also have dreams that have been cast forward and I love allowing the Cleverness of the Cosmos to surprise me as each are drawn into my life. I know it's a Universe of Balance. I've learned to trust it. I've learned to honor Who I Am in this moment knowing I'm moving into many more Who I Ams before it's all said and done this round. So, for the next five years, I'll live in a thankful loving state of knowing, I know nothing.

Day 15: Meanwhile*

"You cannot have a happy ending to an unhappy journey." ~ L.O.A



*A moment, phrase, or song that has changed your life the most.

Day 14: In the Category Of*

Best Comedy:



Best Drama:



Best Soundtrack:




*Best Mashup I've ever heard...and then some.

Day 13: Speaking of Births...*

My first child was (and still is) very precocious. She walked at 8.5 months and was a whiz at problem solving very early on. I bought mail-order toys for her that arrived at the same time each month and we would play with them developing whatever target skill was to be mastered that month in development. She was a little go-getter and had a fiery temper when you tried to do anything for her. Anything. Anyway, after a long day of working, I needed to run to the grocery store and I asked her to get ready which usually meant getting her Baby LuLu in tow. She was about a year old. When we went to the store, I always allowed her to walk around. She wasn't very good at sitting still in the cart. So she went about "shopping". At some point, a woman comes up to me and tells me her diaper is falling off. She wore cloth diapers and as precocious as she was I knew she had not learned how to unfasten the "childproof" safety pins. Plus, the diapers were abnormally large compared to disposable. So, I told the woman that was just her diaper that she was seeing sticking out from under her dress. Later, the woman comes back and insists that my child's diaper has come off and I look a head of me just in time to see a pair of my undies on the linoleum floor right before my babydoll scoops them up and pulls them back over her diaper while trying desperately not to drop her babydoll.

*A memory that never fails to make you laugh!

Day 12: A Star is Born*

Once upon a time, in a universe not unlike our own, some serious @#$% went down. The "Ohm" threaten to go Home. With complete passion, It kept creating music but no one could hear The Tune to join in because the tenants were too busy gettin' all up in each others faces with their judgments and all their conditional love. Most particularly on this one little planet. Relative to its size, the chatter there was, to say the least, painfully annoying and without a good dance beat.

So, The Ohm packed up Its truthbrush and started to trip-the-light-fantastic outta there. It got a few lightyears away when It was suddenly stopped by quite an impressive nebula. While collapsing, coalescing, and encircling The Tune it begged, "Oh No, Ohm! Don't go Home!"

The Ohm exclaimed, "My refrain's become mundane."

"You need a little something exSTARordinary!" The nebula suggested.

The Ohm gave that a "Hmmmm."

The nebula continued, "You need a Carrier of the Tune."

"Stellar!" Agreed The Ohm.

So, with a bit of fancy dancing, the nebula birthed a lively little star. The Ohm was pleased. It sang to the star night after night until It was sure it had The Tune down. When it did, The Ohm guided it back to all the annoying chatter and told it to fall.

Did it ever.

Its light so bright shooting across the skies caused the tenants to cease their chatter and watch in awe. And in that moment of awe, they all heard The Tune. Delighted, each began to 'ohmmmm' it in their own special way. Each began to dance; each began to sway.

And The Ohm thought, "That's the way to play."

The End

* Your favorite musical artist's life story...give or take a few embellishments.

Day 11: YeeHaw

aka Favorite picture ever taken of yourself (& why):

1. I'd been waiting to see the Indigo Girls live FOREVER.
2. I had just enjoyed a delicious cold brew.
3. I was with one of my best girlfriends on the planet.
4. I'm at ACL childless...huge anomaly...and rather awkward.*
5. And I had just gotten a great deal on that hat.



*You can't help but think you've left someone behind. Ha!

Day 10: Dreaming of Dreaming

aka A dream you had this past week described in detail.

I've not had enough sleep to dream. But the week is still young...



"Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you." ~Marsha Norman

...and I owe My Soul some rest.

Day 09: Correct Change...

aka...Five things I want to see change.

Consider the possibility that the people who seem to slow us down and hold us back are actually preventing things from happening too fast. Imagine that the evolution of your life or our culture is like a pregnancy: It needs to reach its full term. Just as a child isn't ready to be born after five months of gestation, the New Earth we're creating has to ripen in its own time. The recalcitrant reactionaries who resist the inevitable birth are simply making sure that the far-seeing revolutionaries don't conjure the future too suddenly. They serve the greater good.
~ That Dear Astrology Guy

What a great word: Recalcitrant. Stubborn. Resistant. Having a fair share of attitude.

The first thing I'd change is the changes into wishes because that sounds more magical and less toiling especially in the light of such words as recalcitrant.

#1. I wish the world a softening of judgment. Both outward and inward.
#2. I wish the world a gentle awakening where perception meets compassion. Intuitive understanding of one another.
#3. I wish the world steady healing where healing is needed and cultivating where cultivating is possible.
#4. I wish the world might recognize that we are the sensory extension of Source. The tangible embodiment of Love whose deepest purpose is to elevate that sensation. That knowing.

I'll Come Back to This One

Day 08: Someone You Think Would Make A Good President.

Day 07: How Deep Is Your Love* aka Good Medicine

There are moments in life when you know exactly where you were as a particular moment hit. Especially, when it is surrounded by sadness and a little healing is needed. This is an excerpt from an evening UStream that aired on 11/11/09. I had planned to catch the replay. Other things were going down. It was the night that the children were told of the changes that would be happening along with an open loving discussion of their thoughts and fears. They're incredible children. They ebb and flow with change learning as they go that no matter the circumstances they have the powerful choice to be happy. So, when all was said and done, they went on about their business.

One opens the UStream and I hear this lick as I'm walking out of the room. I stop and I think, I know that song. Of course I do. It's been on manual repeat at the turntable after finding an old 45 at a garage sale. It's not uncommon for me to reverted to my childhood passions for comfort. I guess the Universe just felt I needed a little extra TLC. I'm getting that that's how deeply It loves me.

So, naturally, I had to shed a few tears of appreciation.

*Favorite cover of your favorite song.

Day 06: Earliest Memory

The weight of fever is on me. My body is shivering in my parents' bed. I can see the kitchen through the doorway. The table is partly exposed. It has a thick aluminum band that runs the course of the table top held up by aluminum legs. It's cluttered. The only chair I see is aluminum with vinyl yellow and green floral upholstery. I hear a boxing match on T.V.. My mom is moving about the kitchen. She holds my baby sister. I must be 4-ish. My dad comes in to check on me. He puts a thermometer under my tongue. He tells me Muhammad Ali is fighting. He says how he had a different name: Cassius Clay. He explains that Ali hasn't fought in awhile because he likes fighting in the boxing rings and does not like fighting in the wars. I ask him what war is. He readjusts the thermometer in my mouth. He hopes I never know. He carries a large speaker with purple tweed-like material covering it to the bed and places it by my head. He tells me he played music to me when I was a little baby. You wailed until I turned it on, he said. That quieted you every time. He turns it on and I fall asleep to the sound of Simon and Garfunkel:

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
When you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

I awaken to darkness except for a light shining into the kitchen from the livingroom. The weight has melted and soaked into the sheets around me. The speaker sits silently by waiting, perhaps for me to wail, but I only remember closing my eyes.

Day 05: Dear Me*

This is not a thank you letter; it's a love letter.

I appreciate you.

Love,
Andi



Recently, my lovely friend Kat went to a L.O.A. seminar. One thought that Abraham had gently offered, that she shared with me, was: (They) asked that we all stop using the words "grateful" and "safe," as they imply a hitch, a hindrance and hold us back in our vibration. In my life, I've had to do this. I've had to purge those words in certain contexts to get myself manifesting more efficiently. Love truly is the Ultimate Creator.

*Write a thank you letter to someone who has changed your life.

Dear Andi,

I've been loving reading your fab blog ~ Whoohoo! You are a wonderful inspiration to me ~ Thanks for sharing the link and letting me "go there" ~ Yay!

I in turn have wanted to share these notes with you since June 9th, the day of the workshop with Abraham. Here we go:

OK, so basically, these concepts were repeated—a lot: OR, I could say, These are my favorite notes taken that day ~ except for the laughter (that was the best part):

1) you never get it done
2) you cannot get it wrong because of 1) :o)
3) to listen to your inner guidance, your inner being
4) elationship, a lovely word introduced by the first man with a question. Elationship. Abraham loved it. Be in Elationship with your Source.
5) what you're really looking for is being in the Vortex, not manifestations.
6) never look back to justify, defend, blame etc.
7) Abraham said, "Don't look too long at the outer world; it'll suck you out of your vortex." And "Love is a manifestation in the moment that cannot be accurately articulated because it's so deep." "Emotion is a manifestation.."
8) being in the vortex and aligning with the vortex Is the solution you are looking for ... that worthiness feeling.
9) that discomfort you're feeling ... is your disconnection from your Inner Being. "Come here with us. Let love and life breathe into you. It's getting better and better and better and better." Feel the ease of that moment, when you know what you really are.
10) that emotion of Love is the best conversation you could have with anyone. Words water it down ~
11) allow the fullness of who you are in the moment.
12) from inside the Vortex, you get Inspired :o) ~
13) Step One: Ask. And you cannot ask without contrast. Embrace the process, even the parts that don't feel good. Make peace with the not-good-feeling place until you can feel better.
14) "We want you to not care about the manifestation so that you can get a bigger manifestation. Just don't look into the stuff that doesn't feel good!"
15) "We're listening to the rapture in your heart; we're not off on a cloud.."
16) So I, Kat, asked myself: Do I paint in the vortex? Do I write in the vortex? Sing/dance ... etc. in the vortex?
17) "We party all the time!" ~ Abraham
18) You are never ever ever separated from Source; you cannot sever your relationship with that which is us.
19) Let your inner being out. To the extent you are not feeling good, you are not allowing Source. Question should always be: not should I do it, but do I Want to do it?
20) Somebody asked about karma etc. Abraham said, Old beliefs re: reincarnation (hinduism, yogis etc.) is all good but ... "This is the Leading Edge of Thought." [meaning his teachings]
21) Isn't it all just really working out?
22) "The greatest musicians/artists etc. are NOW because they have all that and more." {he said this in reply to someone who was saying the greatest musicians were in the 1930s}
PS. He also asked that we all stop using the words "grateful" and "safe," as they imply a hitch, a hindrance and hold us back in our vibration.
23) You can feel better right now for no reason whatsoever!
24) Your vortex is pregnant with everything you want.

xx I am terrific, thank you for asking. Lots of new openings, I am in the Flow (my favorite place always to be) a lot a lot ~ a new book that can stay that or spring into two scripts. Yayest!!

Sending you much love and hope to hear how you are as well. Delightful to be able to share on all these levels with you. xx k.

Day 4: What I Imagine Paradise To Be Like...

...My Block of Thought:

When I was looking for houses, several years ago, I came across one that was under construction but the construction had completely stopped due to unforeseen financial reasons. However, it was not for sale. It sat for months before construction was picked up again but during the interim, I would sneak over and trespass. It was only a little more than half finished so you had to use your imagination for the most part. I loved the house. When you walked in, beyond the foyer, all you could see was a two story wall of glass that embraced a familyroom. Beyond it, only trees. It was like being outdoors. I would bring that vibe into My Paradise. I think it's natural, with the events of my childhood, that a home would be a significant part of my creating. Noting, that I love the home I am in now. I've nothing but appreciation for the abundance it represents but this is kinda fun so let's continue. Within the trees is an sanctuary. A sacred place to meditate, write and just hangout with myself under the stars. It seldom gets cold. I'm cold natured. Mosquitoes. What are those? It has a garden because what is Paradise without a garden? On a scale of 1 to 10, my garden is an 11. It is right outside the kitchen which rivals anything in Better Homes and Gardens. OMG, the library. I might have to take a cold shower if I get to deep in describing it. Well, not too cold. The mailbox is at the end of a long drive. I love the walk. On rainy days, I take an umbrella but I don't use it until I get the mail. The rise of the ozone is intoxicating. The nights are cool enough to light a fire. And there's a treehouse and in the treehouse...a library. A small one. The roof is solid and keeps the books dry when it rains. You can climb on the roof and look through the waterproof telescope. Also! In My Paradise, my assistant who is psychic (and great at organizing) reads my son's thoughts. He (my son) has his own space to be completely himself as do all the children but as they move on with their lives when they return to visit (which is typically often) we all just camp out in the treehouse. Suffice it to say, it's a big tree. The Tree of Acknowledgment. Ha! And no one can ever be cast out of My Paradise because the fruit is so abundant someone needs to eat it. Let's add a couple of deer to aid in the excess. Birds, of course. Squirrels (well behaved ones). And, of course, colorful insects of all shapes and sizes. I think I'll throw in a mountain and an ocean...wait. I just remembered something. When I was a young girl, my friend lived in a beautiful part of town. Behind her house was a "forest" and through the trees ran a stream. The green algae that grew on it gave the appearance of a path. I had no idea it was a stream at the time and I ran straight into it. I returned to her home soaked. But I thought it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. My Paradise has both streams and paths and I know clearly which is which. And all are welcome to walk the paths or flow with the streams or...vica-versa.

Day 04- Paradise

Day 03: SOS ~ Songs Often Save

The five songs you would have with you on a desert island and why...kinda.*

Not as near as night, her raft rocks silently towards an island's shore save the faint sound of...



Nonetheless, time seems to stand still before her so she prays...



Suddenly, the turn of the Sea God's fork churns the scow as the tempest comes...



Washed ashore, she awakens to find...



And realizes The End is really just a glorious...



* Of course, Annie would be in here somewhere!

Day 03: Songs for a Sunny Sanctuary

Day 2: Something That Inspires You

MY SOUL

Enjoy. Celebrate. Light your lamp from the coals of consciousness deep within your being; become fully the expressive light that you are. ~ Ships of Song

INSPIRATION

"...an unconscious burst of..."

Let Your Life Be Your Art

Most of us are unconscious in our creating surprised by these bursts that make the endeavor of living more enjoyable. I've been inspired over the last few years, particularly this last year, to consciously stay conscious of Consciousness.* One of the most freeing concepts, when co-creating with my Soul, is the awareness that my perceptions are impenetrable. People will try to influence me but ultimately I am the one who grants them permission to fracture or full-out break the illusion. My deepest desire is to create a delightful life where everyone and everything is enjoying being a part of my "reality"...is enjoying manifesting within my story and, frankly, have no inkling of desire to burst out of it. Ha! Those thoughts are deeply inspired by an expression breathed upon from within.

*Forgive me, that sentence was just too tempting not to write.

Day 1: Guilty Pleasures*

Chocolate Covered Almonds: Classical conditioning from years of movie viewing.

Gummi Bears: Solid proof of the existence of God.**

* Repent, Repeat.

**Note: They must be Haribo. NO exceptions.

30 Days of Inspiration*

Day 01- Guilty pleasure
Day 02- Something that inspires you
Day 03- The five songs you would have with you on a desert island and why
Day 04- What you imagine paradise to be like
Day 05- A thank you letter to someone who has changed your life
Day 06- Earliest thing you can remember
Day 07- Favorite cover of your favorite song
Day 08- Someone you think would make a good president
Day 09- Five things you want to see change
Day 10- A dream you had this past week described in detail
Day 11- Favorite picture ever taken of yourself
Day 12- Your favorite musical artist’s life story
Day 13- A memory that never fails to make you laugh
Day 14- Best mashup you’ve ever heard
Day 15- A moment, phrase, or song that has changed your life the most.
Day 16- Something that you want to do within the next five years
Day 17- What you want to remembered for.
Day 18- A picture that makes you feel
Day 19- A passage from a book that has touched you
Day 20- A band that you immediately liked and the song that made you like them
Day 21- Your favorite medium of art
Day 22- Someone you would give your life up for without question.
Day 23- Most awkward first impression you feel you’ve ever given
Day 24- Something you did as a child that other people remember you for.
Day 25- Something you would do if no one stopped you or if you knew you wouldn’t fail.
Day 26- Your definition of love.
Day 27- Your definition of the meaning of life.
Day 28- A moment you remember being completely happy in and a description of why you believe you were. What is your definition of happiness?
Day 29- What you live for.
Day 30- Ways you believe you have grown over the past thirty days.

*via Magic in the Backyard

Celebrate your existence; for, it is through you that the earth sings. It is through you that the earth knows God. That is the perfection of your task, the destiny of your journey, and the purpose of your arrival. Any other interests or attention is simply trivial or for the purpose of maintaining your survival. ~ Ships of Song